A lot has happened since my last post. Too much to cover here. The Bison defeated the Gophers this year in football. It was a fun game to watch. Mom was able to come down for the game. Last year Dad has to work, so they couldn't come. Mom had no reason to miss the game. We had a great weekend with her. I think she appreciated the time away from the fishbowl that is Jamestown right now.
I really missed Dad. I have been missing him a ton the last few weeks. We finally got his autopsy report. There were no surprises, only a few lingering questions in my mind. I could probably spend a lifetime asking why he had to go, but I will never get the answer I am looking for. I am just grateful he didn't suffer at the end. I know that he worried about that a lot after having watched grandma and Aunt Lavril. Nevertheless, it is almost as if I miss him more now that I did when I found out he passed away. I was blessed however. Dad was able to write myself and Karen letters before each of his tumor surgeries (1991 and 1995). We were not to open them until he died. I guess I was fortunate enough to wait 12 years for that. It was very emotional and humbling to see what my father wrote. I wish everyone who looses a parent could be as lucky as me to have that experience. I cherish his words and will try my best to live by them. As stated in the post I made a few weeks ago: Grief grows......

On top of all this emotion, I have been attempting to get ready for my oral exam. In many ways this exam makes my USMLE boards look easy! It is hard to focus my attention on it, as I have sooo much material to cover. I am kicking myself for making my committee so broad. Wish me luck if you are reading this.

Well, I better kick Thomas off my desk. His kitty idea of helping me to study is to chew on my notes. NOT CUTE!

It is so hard getting motivated to study for my upcoming oral exam. The breath and expanse of the knowledge I will need to get through it is intimidating. The randomness is also a big factor. I could spend 50 hours studying heme molecules, only to be asked questions on carbon monoxide (a lot simpler structure!). Factor in that my work really doesn't fit in with cancer, immunology, or microbiology (my PhD program), makes it difficult. I need my butt kicked hard to get moving. Hopefully Karen and Matt will help out.

On a better note, we finally got my Dad's autopsy report. It brought us some much needed closure. Now my mom can start the paperwork to move on a little bit more. She has definitely hit the 3+ month mark, as the phone call and visits have become a bit more scarce. I know she is lonely and really hope she is doing ok. I know that she puts on a positive face for us. I am really looking forward to her week long visit in two weeks for the NDSU v. Gopher game. I have my ups and downs. Grief rears its head at unexpected times. Luckily I have very supportive friends and family who are willing to let me have a good cry from time to time. It is comforting knowing that Dad is missed by more than just us. As one of our friends put it "to know him was to love him".

Work has been interesting. The fact that a certain lab member consistently fails to do his part is quickly becoming a MAJOR issue. I do what I can, but I have been reminded time and again that I am only a graduate student and I do not have enough time, and do not get paid enough money, to fix things. Thank goodness Dr. V realizes this as well. My abstract was accepted for ASH, so I will be heading to Atlanta in December. I am excited for that. Hopefully we can get the work done fast so we can get a paper out by March.