My son's food allergies: danger every day - CNN.com

My son's food allergies: danger every day - CNN.com

This article pretty closely described the scenario that my little babysitting guy lives through. I hope that he too will grow out of his allergies. He doesn't let them get him down.

I am a bit overwhelmed right now. I have been studying continuously for my upcoming oral exam for the past three weeks. It is to the point where I am starting to over think and confuse things in my mind. Hopefully my meeting tomorrow with Dr. V. will help soothe some of my fears.
Lots of drama surrounding this weekend. Too much stuff going on, plus I have to return to reality (ie work) on Monday.
Tuesday is the Anatomy Memorial Service for the U. M is coming to it with Karen, Matt, and I. I think Karen's roomies are coming too. It should be a nice evening. I am going to wear my glasses, because I know I will cry. I have been crying a lot recently. I think all the stress, along with missing my dad is getting to me a bit. It is embarrassing, as I sometimes tear up at little things ( like at church), and people don't know why. It has been getting better. Hopefully I will have my old dry eyes back soon.
Gotta run. I need to study more. Wish me luck for Friday!

A lot has happened since my last post. Too much to cover here. The Bison defeated the Gophers this year in football. It was a fun game to watch. Mom was able to come down for the game. Last year Dad has to work, so they couldn't come. Mom had no reason to miss the game. We had a great weekend with her. I think she appreciated the time away from the fishbowl that is Jamestown right now.
I really missed Dad. I have been missing him a ton the last few weeks. We finally got his autopsy report. There were no surprises, only a few lingering questions in my mind. I could probably spend a lifetime asking why he had to go, but I will never get the answer I am looking for. I am just grateful he didn't suffer at the end. I know that he worried about that a lot after having watched grandma and Aunt Lavril. Nevertheless, it is almost as if I miss him more now that I did when I found out he passed away. I was blessed however. Dad was able to write myself and Karen letters before each of his tumor surgeries (1991 and 1995). We were not to open them until he died. I guess I was fortunate enough to wait 12 years for that. It was very emotional and humbling to see what my father wrote. I wish everyone who looses a parent could be as lucky as me to have that experience. I cherish his words and will try my best to live by them. As stated in the post I made a few weeks ago: Grief grows......

On top of all this emotion, I have been attempting to get ready for my oral exam. In many ways this exam makes my USMLE boards look easy! It is hard to focus my attention on it, as I have sooo much material to cover. I am kicking myself for making my committee so broad. Wish me luck if you are reading this.

Well, I better kick Thomas off my desk. His kitty idea of helping me to study is to chew on my notes. NOT CUTE!

It is so hard getting motivated to study for my upcoming oral exam. The breath and expanse of the knowledge I will need to get through it is intimidating. The randomness is also a big factor. I could spend 50 hours studying heme molecules, only to be asked questions on carbon monoxide (a lot simpler structure!). Factor in that my work really doesn't fit in with cancer, immunology, or microbiology (my PhD program), makes it difficult. I need my butt kicked hard to get moving. Hopefully Karen and Matt will help out.

On a better note, we finally got my Dad's autopsy report. It brought us some much needed closure. Now my mom can start the paperwork to move on a little bit more. She has definitely hit the 3+ month mark, as the phone call and visits have become a bit more scarce. I know she is lonely and really hope she is doing ok. I know that she puts on a positive face for us. I am really looking forward to her week long visit in two weeks for the NDSU v. Gopher game. I have my ups and downs. Grief rears its head at unexpected times. Luckily I have very supportive friends and family who are willing to let me have a good cry from time to time. It is comforting knowing that Dad is missed by more than just us. As one of our friends put it "to know him was to love him".

Work has been interesting. The fact that a certain lab member consistently fails to do his part is quickly becoming a MAJOR issue. I do what I can, but I have been reminded time and again that I am only a graduate student and I do not have enough time, and do not get paid enough money, to fix things. Thank goodness Dr. V realizes this as well. My abstract was accepted for ASH, so I will be heading to Atlanta in December. I am excited for that. Hopefully we can get the work done fast so we can get a paper out by March.

Family+Relationships: Before grief goes, grief grows

Family+Relationships: Before grief goes, grief grows

This is a beautiful article I read in today's paper.

It has now been a little over two months since Dad passed away. I am still getting used to this huge change in my life. It is weird, but sometimes I find myself crying over simple things. Last weekend was tough, because Mom and Joan Sr. (OJ for Jenny) came and we went to the State Fair. This was an activity I wanted to do with BOTH my parents. It was nice have Joan Sr. along, but she isn't my father (which is a good thing for Matt AND for me). It just felt like a huge hole was missing. On some level it felt like any weekend where Mom could come and Dad couldn't. I half expected Mom to hand me her cell phone and say "let's check in on Dad". Only that never happened because we can't do that anymore.
On Tuesday I received word that I passed my written prelim. It was a very frustrating experience, because even though he means well, I am not always the top priority in Dr. Vercellotti's schedule. I attempted to get his attention two weeks before my due date, but he kept putting me off. Even though I kept chirping, I was ignored until three days before, then chastised for "waiting to long". GRRRRR! Julie and I pull a huge load in the lab, and JB takes the credit! This is getting really old really fast and something is going to have to change soon.
Karen and I have started babysitting for a family friend. It is a nice job, as it pays well and the kids are fun to play with. It is nice to get a kid fix without having to go through pregnancy. Two more of my medical school friends are expecting now. What is in the water? I wish all my pregnant friends the best, and I hope they know I am always up for babysitting.

Raymond A. Haik: Residents are staking a claim to something that isn't theirs

Raymond A. Haik: Residents are staking a claim to something that isn't theirs

Here is an excellent editorial about the problems Matt's school has had over building a field. Tonight's "home" game is being held at Hamline, a good 8 miles away. Traveling to a "home" game shouldn't take over a half hour in traffic!

Go Islanders!

I am mentally and physically exhausted right now. The mental part is because I have been doing a full-court press to completed the liver portion of our huge CO study. This involves lots of studies, and even more western blots than I want to contemplate right now. I am really frustrated because certain members of my group do nothing on this study, yet get to travel to the giant meeting about it in Poland. The more 12+ hour days I put in, the more angry I get.

I am physically exhausted because I am not getting much sleep. I blame two key people in this: Matt and Mr. Thomas O'Mally. The cat doesn't know any better, but Matt does. And yet both of them are taking turns either keeping me up at night or waking me up because 2-4 AM in the morning (or doing both in one night). With the I-35W bridge accident, I have been having to get on the 7:10 am bus to get to lab. This means that I have to eat breakfast, pack my lunch, shower, and be out of the door by 7:05am every day. Matt is home all day, yet he lacks the ability to plan a mean for dinner. This adds "prep for PM meal" to the list. That means that I have to wake up by 5:30am every morning. I get to bed around 10PM, but Matt, Tommy, or the combo make it hard for me to sleep before 11:30. Therefore, I only get 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep a night! It is time for something to change....I can't take too much more of this. I get home at 7:30 most nights. By the time I make dinner, eat, and do the work tasks I need to do to function the next day, it is time to sleep again. I can't prepare for the next day any more than I do. ARRRRR!

Enough ranting for today. I just needed to get this stuff off my chest. Back to data analysis.

The time stamp on this blog is correct. I made it into lab at 5AM this morning. Abstract deadlines, posters, and platform talks are driving me to my current sleep deprived stated. Well, that and the fact that Matt was practically shouting in his sleep last night (for the two hours were were in bed together!) Here's to hoping I can get some sleep this weekend!

I want to thank everyone who has sent messages, cards, and other forms of condolences to me and my family over the past few weeks. It is hard to believe my father is gone, but every day is getting a tad easier. I am calling this new state my "new normal" as nothing will ever be quite the same. Matt and I are holding up here is the Cities and making plenty of trips to ND to see my mom. Hopefully Karen can get over her car-sickness soon, or we will be finding ways to ship her back!

I am in shock right now. My father passed away in his sleep on Saturday night. My mom was out of town, so he wasn't found until Sunday morning by some close family friends. We are all in Jamestown right now. The prayer service is Wednesday night at 7:30 at Trinity Lutheran Church with the funeral on Thursday morninig at 10:30am.
Please send all your prayers and thoughts up here to ND.

I survived a hectic week of entertaining, work, and driving. It started on Thursday the 24th and went straight through until yesterday. Doug and Billie Jo came to town on Thursday to visit. Matt and I both had school the next day, so we ended up giving them a key to our place for the day. On Friday I put in a full day in the lab, followed by dinner and frisbee golf with our guests. After frisbee golf I left the boys (and Billie) to play Wii and met up with Tanya and Denae for Tanya's bachlorette party. It was fun, as I don't often get to go out downtown without Matt in tow. Matt is not one for kicking back in places without baseball on TV this time of year....
As much fun as I had at the bachlorette party, I was ignoring my sister and parent, who were in desparate need of help, as Karen was trying to clean out and close up one apartment while unpacking for a new roomate to show up in the new one. On Saturday, after I left the girls, I headed into the lab for two hours, then headed to Karen's for more moving fun. That lasted until Tuesday. On Tuesday I had the honor of drawing blood for my parents. They "volunteered" for a study in my lab. I was really nervous (obviously) and ended up sticking my mom twice. I chickend out on my dad, as he already had a huge bruise! Then, for their 36th wedding anniversary we headed out to the Metrodome to watch the White Sox get beat by the Twins. We did run into Erstads and Steinborns, which was nice to see some people from Jamestown.
My parents took off on Wednesday. Karen checked out of her apartment on Thursday (finally). On Friday I headed down to Worthington with Eric Schmidt and his wife Denise for Tanya and Beasler's wedding. It was a hectic weekend. It made me happy that my parents did so much for us during ours. Because of the crappy rain (which is supposed to ensure the Beasler's wealth by the way), they had to move the reception. I ended up staining (aka sinking) in the rain under a pink tinkerbell umbrella because the pastor did not approve of Mikey holding it. It suited him perfectly......
It was great seeing everyone from Fargo that was at the wedding. I am very guilty of not staying in touch with a lot of people due to lack of time. I know that is a poor excuse, but it is the only one I have.
Now that I am home and have no wild entertaining or wedding trips on the near horizon, I am buckling down to get my proposal done. Now if things in the lab would quiet down I could really be productive (but that is a whole different story for another day).
I have written enough!
Happy hug your cat day!

Finals are over. Now I just have to make it through the next month to writing my prelim. I know that Dr. Vercellotti is very excited for me to get in the lab full time. I know that this week alone I have tons of work, but that will ebb and flow over the next few weeks.
Karen is in her new apartment. The move wasn't too traumatic, thanks to the help of Tom and Wayne. I owe them big time!
Matt's softball season is winding down. It is worth the extra income, but is really tiring. He is ready for summer. Hopefully he can find a job that isn't too much so he gets a chance to relax.
Well, I need to get to sleep.

I have come to the conclusion that I am not a good friend. I came to this conclusion yesterday because I received a voice mail from one of my Med School friends doing RPAP. She had excellent news to tell me. She called because she didn't want me to find out from anyone else. In the process, she informed me of MAJOR developments in several other peoples lives because she thought I would know. In fact, if she had not called me I probably would have not found out for a LONG time. I left medical school to start graduate school, and therefore have seemed to drop off the face of the earth for most people. I never thought my friends would be among those. I was very happy for my friend, but also upset at the others for not being like her and call me/emailing me, etc. Then this morning I realized that communication takes two and that I am just as guilty of not contacting them. I am writing this now to apologize to all the friends that I have taken for granted. I am sorry that I don't reach out and contact you more often. It is not because of something you said, or did, it is because I am busy and figure no news is good news. I love having friends, but I am not very good that the work involved. I hope my true friends understand that I will always have time to listen and write when contacted by them, I just might not initiate the communication very often. Have patience with me, I am working on being a better friend.

GOOD NEWS! I got my grant! It is amazing that I convinced the NIA to fund a sickle cell project. My track record of writing a "good story" is holding up. Since I had little faith in my writing ability, I now have to catch up on all the bureaucratic paperwork in order to get my funding. Along with positive new of the PPG, Dr. Vercellotti is actually pretty happy. Luckily he isn't one to rest on his current success, so we are foraging ahead with several other grant ideas. I enjoy the intellectual process of coming up with a grant idea....I just hate the process of writing, revising, revising, and more revising.
It is the end of the semester and things are finally starting to wrap up. I have my last day of cancer class tomorrow. I plan on finishing the final ASAP this weekend so I can focus all of my academic energy on the Immunology final on Friday. I am really behind on my prelim proposal, so after Friday that is all I am focusing my attention on.
Karen is moving again in a week. I will not like having her farther away from my pad, but her new place is still closer than Kansas (or Fargo), so I can't complain too much. I just don't enjoy moving all her shoes (I am jealous).
Matt is wrapping up his second year of teaching. Now we just have to find him another gig for the summer. I hope he finds something that he likes.
Last night I had the pleasure to go to the movie Dirty Dancing on the big screen with Jenny and Nancy. It was so much fun. With the sad news today that my favorite TV show Gilmore Girls is ending in two weeks I think the four of us girls need to plan a party.
Everyone wish Karen and me good luck this next week!

Pearls Before Breakfast - washingtonpost.com

Pearls Before Breakfast - washingtonpost.com

This article is about one of my favorite musicians Joshua Bell and how people riding the metro in Washington DC were able to hear him for free and didn't even notice.
Wow....

I am sort of in a funk right now. One of my co-workers has made not so thinly veiled statements to me that she believes I am not working hard enough toward my graduate degree. This is from the person who works only 30 hours a week, most of which is spent writing notes to undergrads. I have been waking up at 5:30 so I can read papers before getting on the bus at 7:30, working in lab right up until class starts at 9, hitting class hard for two hours, then working until either seminar starts or I collapse from hunger. I don't leave before 5, usually before 6, where after I eat I start reading and working again until 11. Excuse me....where am I supposed to find MORE time to work. I am very hurt and insulted by this, but I know that I have to suck it up because I will never win with this woman. If I confront her she will get defensive and be even worse to me. If I relay her behavior to Dr. Vercellotti or Dr. Steer it will be even worse. Instead I have this terrible feeling of inadequacy, which is what she wants me to feel anyway. I can't win....

Matt's mom is coming for Easter. I am hoping that a weekend celebrating the holiday will help me out. I won't have a take-home exam (for a change), so that puts some of the pressure off. Next weekend I will probably work. I do need a haircut though...I am pretty scary right now....

Well, I have to get back to work on my take-home exam. This class is taking forever to end.

I got a rare day out of lab today. So far I have spent the morning cleaning and doing laundry. With Matt coaching softball and me working 10-16 hours a day, our house is definately not in parent visit shape. I managed to get the mountain of laundry down, which is an accomplishment in itself. Tommy is beside himself with all the activity. I think he gets lonely with us gone all the time.
This week was a tough one in the lab. Nothing seemed to work. Some of it was through my oversight and overconfidence, but other stuff was just because. There is this element of luck in science that I don't seem to have right now. Hopefully that will change soon. I am starting to get really annoyed with the gene therapy project. Everyone just runs around in circles.....very frustrating.
DeLaSalle is in the Girls State Basketball tournament this weekend. We are taking my parents. I am very excited to have them in town. This will be their first time here with Karen NOT moving. Of course Karen is apartment shopping again, since her friend Amy is moving here and they are going to live together. I am so happy that Matt and I will not have to move again soon.
Well, I need to get started on my take-home test of the week.

"Do you believe in magic?"
This was the question posed to a group of Medicinal Chemists as they ate their dinner last night. Karen's program was hosting applicants, and one asked this question during dinner! WOW! I thought MD/PhD students were crazy....this really is weird. Karen, Matt, and Amy went out for drinks at Brit's pub after this dinner and Karen and Amy regalled us with even more stories of this person's strange behavior.

I got some disappointing new on Friday. It sounds like I will not get to go to Poland because Dr. Vercellotti promised John the trip. It really isn't fair, because I bust my hump up here in the lab and he flights off to vacation at will. Dr. V did indicate that I can head to a miRNA meeting of my choice. I found on in Barcelona, but it is more likely that he will send me to Whistler, BC, or Boston before footing the bill for me to hit Spain for a week. Matt's trip is going along nicely. Apparently all the other foreign language teachers want to go as well (duh), so I will not be going on that trip either. Needless to say, I am sort of sad about this. I am sure it will be for the best, as I can use the time NOT traveling to get more done.
This week is spring break. I don't have classes, but I will probably be working just as hard to get caught up. It is amazing how much work I have done, but how much I have ahead of me. I have not written a sentence of my prelim since the abstract was due....that is sort of scary. Matt is going to start pushing me more. I hope this helps.
Well, it is time to get my iron treatment off my cells.

I am at work this morning finishing up some loose ends created by the storm. I am also attempting to study for my Immunology Mid-Term, but my motivation is lacking. I am really looking forward to August when the testing enters a moratorium.
Karen has her big cumulative exam today. I really hope she does well. She was so busy this week studying I barely saw her. It is amazing how used to her being around Matt and I have gotten. She is like our "kid" that we don't have to pay for. We do have to feed her though.....no wonder I have lost 10lb. in the last month, she eats all my good food! No complaints though, I am better off with her eating the food and me losing the weight.
I signed up for Fantasy Baseball again this year. Why do I continue to sign up for a summer of pain? I guess I have a self-hating streak that is larger than most.
Matt got a new cell phone yesterday. He is VERY happy about it. It doesn't take much to make him happy, just gadgets, food, and endless video game time. He is getting plenty of that this weekend, which is probably good for his students.
Well, my timer is about to go off.

WOW! That is all I can say about the amount of snow we have received since last Friday. I can hardly believe that Christmas was brown, but we are submerged in 2 feet of snow in March! This really is weird for me.
I almost got stuck at the University yesterday. They actually closed at 2:30, but I had to stay put because I was working on some experiments that couldn't be interuppted. I got out at 4:30, in time to take two VERY scary bus rides home. It is never good when you can feel your bus fish-tailing during your entire ride. Luckily neither bus got stuck, and I could at least see the sidewalks leading to our condo.
This morning I had to shovel out of our front door, trudge through the snow to catch the bus, exit the bus and trudge another 0.5miles in the middle of a road, all to catch the Campus Connector here. Needless to say, I am going to make sure I only need to get home once!
Julie is out today, but everyone else has pretty much said they will make it in. John is in Vietnam for the next month, which is already causing problems for me.
Well, I better go.

Wow! Winter has definately arrived here in Minnesota. Matt, Karen, and I curled up in front of a fire to watch the Super Bowl on Sunday. Jenny and Nancy couldn't make it because of the extremely cold weather. I definately missed them. I was very disappointed in the commercials this year. The game was so so, but the commercials were blahhh. I didn't pay attention to the commercials just to see 1000 ads for CBS television.

This week is filled in class work. I have been spending so much time reading and writing for my classes that I have not had the time or energy for project related work. It is a good thing that my advisor understands that classes come first, otherwise I would have to drop down to only 4 hours of sleep a night, and still not get all the reading done.

I know I compain a lot about being busy. I guess it stems from the fact that I am always either working on homework or planning out my day so I can find more time to do homework. I am too much of a type A personality.....everything has a plan. I think this is starting to drive Matt crazy.

This week Matt, Karen, and I are treating ourselves to the Seinfeld performance. I am really looking forward to it. I last saw him in 2003. The Medical School Ball in on Friday. I couldn't find out it any of my med school friends are going, as no one gave me a "yes or no" answer. SO, I decided to save the $40 and put it toward a night out that both Matt and I would enjoy.

Matt won $25 at a school Super Bowl pool. My lab isn't that cool. Maybe we will have to do an Oscar pool or something like that.......

Well, I am going to read through my notes before Immunology. So far I am enjoying Cancer Biology class WAY more.

Today was not the best day for me. I checked my much-neglected hotmail account and discovered I missed an email almost ten days about from Tanya about her wedding. I feel terrible, as I hate letting my friends down about stuff that is important to them.
On top of that, I let myself down today when I got too wrapped up in lab business to remember I had ethics class. This course is heavily (I mean almost entirely) graded on attendance, and I missed it. Now I am praying that the professor is understanding and lets me make up the time in a way he sees fit.
I guess both of these situations are examples of how I am burning the candle at both ends these days. I have so many commitments, to class, in lab, at home, to my friends, and to my family, that is seems like I am constantly making excuses to people so I can do other stuff. I have priorities, just too many of them are #1, and it is driving me crazy. I hate letting people down!
It seems like I had so much more time in undergrad and med school. Maybe I am just suppressing my stress from those days. I do know that I am exhausted right now and would nothing but to sleep for twenty hours straight. Hopefully that is just a result of too frequent blood donation (another consequence of me being unable to say NO to people who need my help!) Speaking of sleep, I better head to bed.

Go Gophers!!!!!
The Sioux (as a mascot, NOT AS A PEOPLE), S**k!

Tonight Karen, Matt, Tim, and I are heading to the Gopher/Sioux hockey game. I am hoping for a really good game. Tim has never been to a hockey game before, so it will be fun to teach him my limited knowledge of the game. I can always get behind a sport where there is the potential for fighting.

This week was a crappy one in the lab and in class. I am so much writing to do it is depressing just thinking about it. I plan on spending a majority of my time this weekend in front of the warm glow of my laptop. Hopefully I can get it all done.

My mom really messed up her ankle. She had an MRI on Tuesday and it sounds like she may need a cast for a while. I think we should put her in a giant bubble so she can't fall anymore!

Matt has a partial day of school today. The rest of the time he is going to wait at home for the FedEx guy to deliever my new phone. I hope he catches him, otherwise I have to find time to drive to White Bear Lake!

Well, I better get to cancer class.
Have a great weekend!

I never thought I would be so happy to see a Friday come as this week. I have been so busy that it is hard to take it all in. Unfortunately, I have not been busy with lab work, just busy work. Hopefully that will start to change soon, as I need to get some serious work done up here.

I am going ice skating tonight. I went swimming on Tuesday. Both of these items I used to do on a daily basis, and now they are rare treats. It is sort of strange to think that I used to have all that time to do stuff. I am looking forward to the skating. I went last year and it was really weird. It is not like riding a bicycle!

We have offically had our cat for six months now. He is such a huge part of our lives now, it is sort of hard to imagine our time before little kitty. I do wish he would stop waking me up though.

Nothing else really going on here. My life is lab, eat, lab, eat, gym, read, clean, repeat. Hopefully now that Karen is in town I can mix that routine up a bit. My big thing to look forward to this month is the hockey game next week. After that it is the Seindfeld performance.

Well, back to work here.

Karen is moved in now and as of today has all of her furniture. Since Sunday she has had a squatter, as one of her lab mates did not have an apartment until today. Needless to say, she has spent a lot of time at my place to avoid him. Now that she has furniture, a tv, and other stuff I am sure I will be spending time at her place to help her get settled. Hopefully she will not get too settled in, as she might move in 6 months to a new apartment, or even a new building. My poor parents can't handle too much more of this. During the move my mom torn a ligament in her ankle pretty badly and now has to wear a walking cast for up to eight weeks. She will just be getting back to normal for the next move!
This weekend I am hosting a tapas dinner for Karen, Jenny, Nancy, and Matt. It will be fun to try out my new recipes for them. I started making the dough for the manchengo cheese crackers last night. The end result of this experiment was one happy cat (I spilled cheese on the floor) and a penis-looking roll of cheese dough in my fridge waiting for Friday's baking.
Well, my turn for the Storm reader is up.

Happy New Year!
I had a great lazy weekend with Matt. Due to the snow (finally!), we just stayed in this weekend. We did get out long enough to get some nice food to cook for our New Year's celebration.
Karen is having a tough week. Her ex annouced he is now dating the girl he cheated on Karen with. The asshole was classy enough to text it to Karen on New Year's Day. Talk about immature and spiteful. I wish Matt and I could beat the shit out of him. He definately does not deserve my little sister. Now we have to work on convincing her of that. She is so awesome that I know she will bounce back, it is just going to take time. I hate seeing her feeling hurt over something that is totally not her fault.
Well, this week is full of writing and wrapping up of some loose ends in the lab. Julie is fitting in well and I am happy to have her on board. She leaves next week to get married, so I will miss her.
Gotta run.