My biochemistry final is now history. I really enjoyed the class, even though it went 300mph! Histology is another story. I am finding it VERY difficult to study for this test, as I hated everything about how this class was presented. I was taught histology at NDSU in the Animal and Range Science department. They made it fun, NOT a core. Also, about half the material we learn in histo will be re-taught, correctly, in physiology!

So, guess what I did instead of studying yesterday? Yup, I bought my wedding dress. It was sort of weird, because it was just me and no one else. The sales people thought I was strange. I guess I am just "too damn independent" like my dad used to say. I don't want to share details, so you will all have to just wait and see what it looks like.

Kirk and Jon both came home late last night. Luckily I was far enough asleep to not really notice. As tonight is my last night here until New Year's, I suppose I will try to wait up for them to give them their presents. I know that both of them have noticed their gifts under my sad little trees, as they have been moved several times.

Well, I am going to grab a sandwich and force myself to study some more. I have a review session at 4:30, followed by a work out and dinner out. The rest of the day is studying, whether I want to or no!
Wish me luck!

I woke up this morning to a sound that was out of place here in Minneapolis, gusts of wind. It reminded of my times in Fargo, waking up in the middle of the night to 35 + mph wind gusts rattling the windows in my cozy LLC room. The only thing that is missing today is the snow, as it is still a balmy 33 degrees here in Minneapolis.

Today is my last push to study biochemistry and the start of my histology effort. I will be very relieved when Wednesday noon comes, as I will be completely finished with my first semester of medical school. What a semester it has been! It has gone by so fast that I can hardly believe I have absorbed half the material pushed at me. I now know why people compare the first two years of medical school to trying to drink out of a fire hydrant!

Word has it that Tyler Aman is in Minneapolis today. I am hoping to catch up with him for a bite to eat later today. I really miss all my friends from home. I lack time to write everyone, so it is a rare treat to even hear from some of the people I used to see on a daily basis. Matt is good about keeping me up with current news, but it is not quite the same. I can image that is a few years, the crew back in Fargo will be saying "do you remember that Beckman girl....she was insane.....I wonder what happened to her." I guess this is my plea for people to stay in touch, and to know that my couch is always free for people to crash on.

Well, I need to get back to histology.

Well, it is my birthday today. I would like to be writing about how I am going out with all of my friends and living up what has been a pretty good year, but instead I am at home, alone, trying to get enough motivation to study. Yup, I am spending my birthday ALONE, STUDYING BIOCHEMISTRY AND EVIL HISTOLOGY! I have had plenty of well-wishes from my sister, my parents (at 7:30 am!), Derik Rieckens, a few odd people in the lab (Sara, Deepali, Brenda), and some other random medical students who were in need of espresso as much as I was at 2:30 today. Tonight I am ordering in take out (I might splurge for some indian food, yummy!), and studying my ass off. This week has turned out to be one of my worst in medical school yet because I have been too tired, too busy, or too tired AND too busy to anything productive done. I guess it my lesson NOT to donate blood while trying to perform an insulin sensitivity trial and study for three exams.....!
I am heading back to ND on December 15th. I am spending a night in Fargo, and then it is off to Jamestown for wedding planning. I am looking forward to having some time to do nothing.....as I haven't had that kind of time in the longest I can remember. I am also looking forward to catching up on sleep, my old tv shows, and finding out what my neglected friends and family are up to.
I need to get going here. Otherwise it is just going to another unproductive late night.

Thanksgiving has come and gone, so finals are upon me. Right now I have only two cups of milk, two slices of bread, and some eggs to tide me through until Friday.....I have a feeling I will be eating out at least once in the next three days. I had my nutrition "test" today. All I can say, it that there is a reason why there are registered dietitians, because our survey of nutrition is hardly adequate to help people. I have strong feeling about what people eat, so I know I will have to pursue further study in this area myself. Our next final is on genetics. This class has been surprisingly interesting. I am even considering using one of my elective rotations to do a genetic couseling program.

I have a small Christmas tree up here in our apartment. It is sort of sad right now, because I haven't had time to get ornaments. I hope to fix that probably this Saturday when I go out shopping to get the rest of my presents. I only have four people left on my list......thank god for e-shopping!

The wedding plans are rolling along smoothly. I hope to have the dress, flowers, and bridesmaids taken care of by the end of December. Invitations, menu, music, guest lists, and program will follow up in March and May. The guest list is looking to be a bit of a battle, as both the Larson and the Beckmans are blessed with large families and lots of good friends. This wedding could easily bankrupt both families! Hopefully the compromise I struck with my parents and the Larson will prevent this!

Well, I need to get back to studying patterns of inheirtance. The disease of choice this semester is colon cancer. .......

Oh...just a reminder....only 9 shopping days until my birthday (12-10)

The pre-Thanksgiving stress feast is over, and I am enjoying it to the max by doing my neglected laundry and drinking a Bailey's/Godiva hot chocolate after a delicious meal of pasta left-overs. Yesterday was probably the worst, since I started my day at 4:45, again at 5, and finally at 5:15. I crammed biochemistry (metabolism, rocks....everyone should memorize the TCA cycle, glycolysis, gluconeogenesis, glycogenesis, glycolysis, Beta oxidation, cholesterol synthesis, the pentose monophosphate shunt, and oh yeah...membrane signaling in about two weeks, with no sleep, and histology, genetics, and nutrition too!) and took my biochemistry test at 8. The exam went well, so I guess the last minute cramming on three hours of sleep paid off. Quick quote from my roomate Kirk..."you fell asleep in histology.....so THAT'S when you sleep!"

After that wonderful start to they day, I rode my bike home (man is it getting cold, and boy do I need some WD-40!) in an attempt to wear down the pot of Starbucks Breakfast Blend coursing through my veins. Kirk was home (does he EVER go to work before noon?), so we finished off the pumpkin pecan rum cake and read the Star Tribune. I took a nap, then headed BACK to school with my bass in tow. I played an interesting concert in the Fairview University Hospital coffee shop/lobby with the Academic Health Center Orchestra. Margaret, the bass player I had practiced with, was in the hospital (again), but a new guy was there. Between my only having 2 weeks rehearsal, him missing the last two weeks rehearsal, and the general chaos of the concert, it was not my most stellar concert. You can listen here if you would like. http://arahn.dsl.visi.com/HSO/
I recommend the one bright spot, the orignial composition Legend. The composer conducted it, and it is a stellar piece.
Well, tomorrow I am going to hit the road back to ND as soon as I can get through histology (they are doing the liver, which I know fairly well due to my pathetic high school life). I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving, safe traveling, and good fun!

My good friend and companion Patchas Popcorn Beckman passed away today. She gave us 16 years of kitty love, and going home will never be the same. Even though I haven't been home much the past 4 years, coming home to her was always a highlight.

Patchas Beckman

Family friends and confidant

Cat

1988-2004

I have been busy this week studying histology. Right now I am listening to Piano Man by Billy Joel on iTunes and avoiding the mountain of studying I have left before I get to bed tonight. WHO APPROVED A SATURDAY TEST!!!! Jenny is in town, but I will only get to see her for a few hours. I guess she gets to hang out with Virginia, which will probably be a lot more fun than watching me fail a histo test (what did I mean by probably, definately more fun!)

Kirk and Jon are both present tonight. This hardly ever happen anymore. I had not seen Kirk since Monday night when he woke me up. I see Jon in the morning, but he usually isn't a conversational genius at 7:30am.

Well, back to the histo-torture. Wish me luck!

My first biochemistry exam is over and done with. I made some stupid mistakes, but what else can you expect when someone is lacking in sleep and in a lot of pain? It would be nice to make honors, but my health and mental well-being is just as important, and this week I needed some TLC.
Last night I went to a Gopher hockey game and the Nu Sigma Nu/Phi Rho Halloween party. It was a lot of fun, even though my cowgirl costume was lame.
Tonight we have some trick or treaters around, so it is fun.

I am enjoying a Bailey's Irish Cream right now. I have been doing laundry and studying since four thirty today. I got home at 3, but my back and neck hurt so bad that I had to lie down for an hour. I am seeing a doctor tomorrow morning, so hopefully we can get to the bottom of my problem. Earlier today during histology lab I almost threw up because I was in so much pain from my back. I want to be active and stay in shape, but pain this bad is not condusive to working out five days a week.
Our exam is on Friday. I swear some people here have never taken an test before. They are skipping classes to study all day. Yeah right! I figure that skipping classes now will just put me behind for the next test. I may not be absorbing everything now, but at least I wouldn't have to take time later to watch the lectures over.
Today we had the worst lecturer ever. Dr. Porter has no emotion. She stood up there and read off her powerpoint slides WITHOUT MODIFYING HER TONE! Yup, it was the perfect mimic of Ben Stein in Ferris Bueller's Day Off (I need to watch that movie again soon!)

Well, I do need to get back to studying.

I haven't had too much time to update. I have a biochemistry exam on Friday that is taking up a lot of my time. I also had a special MD/PhD seminar today.
Last weekend was a lot of fun. Mom and Karen came to town on Friday. We went to the movie Friday Night Lights, which was pretty good. We also ate at Pizza Nea, which is really nice. On Saturday we had my first dress shopping experience. I have narrowed the list down to two dresses, now I just need to pick which one. The problem is that I like both of them, and there is only about $10 difference in their prices! Oh well, I will look beautiful in either of them. The Saint Paul Chamber concert on Saturday night was awesome. Artisit partner Joshua Bell was breath-takingly good at the Vivaldi Four Seasons violin concertos. The rest of the concert was just bonus for that in my opinion. Sunday was a bit of a rush, because Karen and Mom had to hit the road early. I would like to say I got a lot of stuff done, but instead Kirk, Jon, and I sat down for a much needed discussion on cleaning (and how I was doing most of it). We came to a consensus, so now it will be a matter of time to see if we uphold our agreement (or if I will be in the same place in another two months!)

Well, I need to get some sleep here.

I am not feeling so great here. I fear that I am getting a pretty nasty cold, as I have body aches, sore throat, and runny nose. Just what I need before my first Biochemistry test!
Today I actually did some lab work. I changed media on the strange breast cancer cells that I am going to be working with. I already have my first treatment trial mapped out for the next week or so. This lab moves much faster than my last one!
They decorated the medical school locker room for Halloween last night. Nothing like ducking around fake spider webs three times a day to put someone in a good mood.
Jon and Kirk were quite the pair last night. Jon was the perfect "housewife" and had supper ready and waiting on the table for Kirk when he came home at 10 PM (note: I was trying to study at this time.....haven ate supper at a NORMAL TIME!) They proceeded to have a long conversation about saffron rice, and other culinary topics. I swear, one of them has to be gay, as no other men that I know would have this conversation when a perfectly good newspaper (including a sports section) was sitting between them.
Due to the late supper, I didn't get to sleep until after midnight when things quieted down here. Getting 6 hours of sleep is not a good thing when fighting off a cold!

I got a Betta fish last night. He is red. He sits next to my desk in a square glass vase. I am already getting attached to him. I think I will name him Bubba.....

Well, I have to study some biochemistry. .....

Velvet Pumpkin Bread

This is a great recipe. I made some tonight and half the loaf is gone already (and it is still warm!) My roomates, and the guys downstairs give it two thumbs up a piece.

What's the deal with Hotmail? Is anyone else having problems getting to their e-mail? It is really pissing me off!

E! Online News - Tommy Lee Making the Band

Is this a sign of the end of the world? Tommy Lee, best known as the drummer of Motley Crue, or as one-half of the Pamala Lee porn video, played Malaguana with the University of Nebraska marching band on Saturday. NDSU played Malaguana....what is next, a guest spot from Tommy there?

Oh well, maybe this will make marching band "hip"......because all of us band geeks know that those wool blend uniforms are sexy as hell!

Not much going on in Minneapolis today.....probably good thing for a Monday.

Ahhhhh! I just wrote this big beautiful post and just lost it! Grrrrrr!

Homecoming 2004 at the NDSU was fun. It was weird being an alumnus, since I know more people in the Gold Star Band than in the Alumni Band. It was fun seeing my friends though. My new friends here at U of M are great, but it is nice to have a history with people that is more than two disturbing months long (anatomy stories can only be entertaining for so long!) Here are some highlight from my 2004 Homecoming experience.

• Matt's mom Joan (I am keeping my name by the way.....I do not want to be Joan Larson the second!) grilling my mom about wedding decorations over dinner at Juano's. My mom just got back from a business trip to Florida, and has not had time to do much. She looked almost sick to her stomach when Joan pulled out decoration pages from her purse.
• Matt's violent looks of disgust during the movie Shall We Dance. My sister Karen dragged us, along with my parents and Matt's mom, to the movie. J-Lo sucks, and if not for her, the movie would probably be pretty decent.
• Freezing my ass off on the Gold Star Band Alumni trailer....oopps I mean float. Why did I think Fargo would be as warm as Minneapolis!
• Listening to the Gold Star Band during the Homecoming Pep Rally. You guys rock!
• Bison football!
• Eating pizza and playing with Jennavive Boeser at Coach's.
• Having a beer with Drucker, Jess Stevens, Brad Baltrusch, Mike Lehmann, Tanya, Matt, and Andrew Jacobson at the Great Northern
• Dancing the night away to Patent's Pending. You guys rocked!
• Who knew....my sister rules at disco (my DAD taught her?!!!!?????)
• Mike Lehmann....very drunk?.....doing the butt dance. Who's got the butt? MIKE'S GOT THE BUTT!
• Eating breakfast with Karen and Tanya in my old apartment....

This week is Homecoming at the U. I don't know if I will be involved because I have a lot of Biochemistry to do. I am really excited about seeing Joshua Bell play with the Saint Paul Chamber on Saturday, so I am studying to get ahead.

Well, Matt just called, so I better go.

CapitalOne 2004 Mascot Bowl

Vote for Goldy! He rules.

Today started with rain. Nothing like getting soaked riding bike to school to start off the morning. I had three hours of class again today, with two of them being Histology. I did histology at NDSU for four + years, so that class is really boring. I only stay because they explain the electromicrographs, which I don't have any experience with. After the histology nap, I heading to lunch. They give us over an hour here, but since I pack my lunch (peanut butter and an apple today), it takes me exactly 15 minutes to each. I am then left wondering what to do with the rest of the time. I took a practice histology quiz and called my mommy (this is getting to be a daily habit, it is amazing SHE gets any work done!) After histology lab (the pain, the pain.......no fibroblasts do NOT stain red!!!!) I went to the gym. Eight + years of marching band and volleyball are taking their toll on my ankles, and I couldn't swim today because they are swollen (flip turns hurt!). I intended to to work out for 30 minutes, but got caught up reading 2 month old gossip magazines (I really need an iPod) and stayed for over an hour. My buns of steel then had to ride me home (in the rain!!!!!).
I tried a new zucchini and squash recipes tonight. It was quite tasty. Too bad the receipe made so much that I am going to eat it the rest of the week! I just took my histology quiz (!!!!!GRRRRR!!!!) and I swear that the key has one question wrong. We will see if the rest of my classmates think so as well.
Jon just took my antenna to watch the debates.....the only TV he EVER watches. I miss VH1 and Food Network. Now I just sleep to pass the time (or do wedding planning).
Well, I have to write up a journal review outline for my biochemistry discussion tomorrow. (Elton John is playing on iTunes right now....Tiny Dancer......it makes me smile:)
So long from this tired med student

Ugly Dress.com - Bridesmaid Dresses From Hell

Since I am now planning a wedding, I stumbled upon this web site. Jenny, Karen, and Tanya....beware!

Just kidding, I love you guys and would rather pierce out my own eyeballs that make you guys wear crap like this.

Christopher Hanson Online 2004

Just thought I would link to my friend Chris' site. Aaron Beasler is also contributing. Keep up the good work boys!

Today I had my first preceptorship for medical school. I got to go out to a clinic and interview patients with a physician. I was assigned to a women's health clince close to the campus. It was strange given Depro shots and EC (emergency contraceptions) to 18 year old girls. The strange part is that they are 4 years younger than me, and have larger problems than I ever had at that age....I guess I spent too much time studying to have to worry about scheduling my Depro shot over Christmas break. My physican was awesome in advocating safer sex habit to all her patients, which was nice.

Tonight I am baking Bannana Oatmeal loaf while avoiding studying. My Anaheim Angels are in a win or die situation tomorrow, and I pray they rise to the occasion. I will be attending the Twins v. Yankees game with a bunch of Red Sox fans......it is a strange world. On Saturday I am going to grocery shop and look around for a string bass. Later in the night I am heading to St. Paul to cheer on the Gophers. It should be a fun day.

As far as wedding plans go, I was very excited when Matt informed me that Christopher Hanson and friends can play at our wedding. I have had some of the most fun in college dancing the night away to Chris's band, so it will be special having him play at the wedding. Because of his band, we finalized a reception location. Now we have to get some of the smaller, more stupid details down, such as colors, flowers, cake, menus, decorations.....yuck! The one highlight is getting to dress up and look for a dress.

Jon and Kirk are out tonight. I don't know where....and really don't care too much either. The past two nights they have been especially messy in the kitchen, and I swear I spent most of the last hour cleaning. Maybe I am just a little obsessive about how clean the kitchen is.....but ALL the food we eat is prepared in there, and food-bourne illness are nasty. Gourmet cook or not....CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF! It DOES NOT TAKE AN MD TO PUT DISHES IN THE DISHWASHER!!!!!!!!!!!

I played with a puppy last night....it was fun

I also did laundry.....not so fun.....

Well, that's it for now.

I haven't updated in a while. On the news front....I AM ENGAGED! Yup, after three years of dating, Matt proposed. We are getting married in August, so I will have wedding planning as a hobby for the next few months. Both of us are braced for the huge wedding, since both of us are blessed with large families and lots of wonderful friends.

On other news, I AM DONE WITH ANATOMY!!!! This is really good, because I was getting sick of it. It is very refreshing to be in Biochemistry and Histology. Right now both of these classes are review, but I anticipate them getting harder over the next few lectures. As one lecturer put it today.....going to Medical School is like trying to take a drink out of a fire hydrant!

This weekend I get to go to the Yankees v. Twins playoff game and a Gopher Hockey game. I could complete sports nirvana if I had Vikings tickets (even though I don't like the Vikings). Oh well, I have made Matt and Mike jealous.....that is enough for me.

The roomates continue to be ok. I feel like their maid at times, but I guess it could be worse (they could steal my stuff....or be even messier.....or do drugs.....or play Madden all the time......or smoke)

I really want a cat

I also want a bass

I will probably get the bass, as cats aren't allowed here.

Enough for now....I have volleyball (we are 0-1) so wish me luck against Team ND (yup.....I don't know who they are!)

Anaheim Angels : The Official Site

I am an Angels fan stranded in Twins territory. Not bad now, but after Darin and the gang destroy the Red Sox (Yes, I saw the score today....it was hard to stomach....but they will win!) and the Twins do away from the Yankees, I might be facing some death threats. Why is it assumed that since I am from ND I am automatically a Twins fan? Can't I cheer for St. Louis, Chicago, Denver, or (heaven forbid!) the Brewers? Proximity does NOT equal loyalty.
GO ANAHEIM!

I am just chilling after my test today. I think it went well, but you never know for sure. Tomorrow I am running errands pretty much all day. I have to go to the bank, buy groceries, and do all the other stuff that I just can't seem to find time to do during the rest of the week. It is amazing that I am 2/3 done with anatomy, and that in another two weeks I will be completed finished!
On another note, Angels baseball is really getting exciting. I am avidly watching the scores, hoping that they win and make the playoffs. Since the beginning of the year I have had a good feeling about this team, so I hope they do well.
Karen is having a tough semester this year. I wish I could be there for her....but medical school is pretty tough as well. I have seen things that few are priveledged to, which is very cool, but also sort of disturbing.

What a two weeks I have had. I went home for Labor Day. It was a good time seeing everyone. Now I am busy gettting ready for my next test on Monday. It is on a lot of material, but I think I have it down alright.
I am talking to Matt right now. He has a cold. I think I am getting a cold too,,,, do you think it is possible to get a cold over the phone.

Well, my first anatomy test is over with and out of the way. Only two more tests left (in the next five weeks!)
Today I ran errands all morning and treated myself to a movie. Now I am sitting in my bedroom trying to figure out what to do with the rest of the night. It is nights like this when I really miss my friends back in Fargo. If I was in Fargo I would tons of options. In Minneapolis I have even more options, just no one to go with. I guess it wouldn't have been so bad this weekend, except that most of my newer friends made plans already (like going home). I still don't have the guts to go into a sit-down restaurant by myself. Delivery isn't much of an option here either, since our front door is currently broken. Hopefully my landlord will fix that soon.
Well, that is all for now.

JibJab.com

This website is hilarious
Just avoiding studying.
Not much else

The first week of medical school has past by very quickly. I feel like I have been tossed into a blender. The cadevar lab is getting easy, but there are still moments when you realize that you are working on a "real" person. Embryology started yesterday. It is like a whole semester of Developmental Biology in one hour! I fought to stay awake, because I like the topic, but it was a challenge.
So far I don't have many complaints about medical school. I knew that I would have to work hard, and I was right. One tip I have, it to swim after lab, that way you smell like chlorine instead of formaldehyde.
My apoligies to my body buddy Bilal, today I sent "juices" flying into his face....yuck!
Tomorrow is the Psi Chi Party. I am going to meet some people and to not think about anatomy. I do wish that Matt, Karen, or Jenny could come next weekend to help me celebrate my first exam being finished, but I will just have to wait until Labor day.
Band started in Fargo. It is going to be weird listening to Matt talk about it and NOT be involved. It is sort of like steeping out of one life into another. I guess that is something I should get used to, because I will forever more be intwo worlds, the world of medicine, and the world of everyone else.
Back to anatomy. I have to learn the posterior thigh tonight (Gluteus maximus!)

Today was the first day of classes for medical school. I was surprised to see the dental students in lecture with us, I guess they just had lab with us. I was happy to see a few more familar faces from NDSU in the dental class:)
The first lecture was fast and went late. The same goes for the Physican and Society class (which I think I will have a love/hate relationship with).
The first anatomy lab was hard, not because of what we had to dissect, but because it was the first time. It was such an awesome and humbling experience, and no words can express how grateful I am to the brave individuals who donate their bodies to science. Your gift is teaching me what it means to be truely altruistic.
Tonight I studied some and downloaded all the radiographs to CD. It took a long time, but now they will run rather fast on my computer. Jon and Kirk were both around, which is rather different from the past two weeks or so. I am sure I will start to disappear more once school really starts rolling.
Well, I need to write in my food journal and hit the sack.

The rest of SSR was a blur. I had a good time, and it was really nice to see the gang from NDSU. I learned a lot, and hope to someday come back to the meeting.
Mom and Dad came this weekend for a visit. I had a good time chatting with them and exploring Minneapolis. I went to IKEA with them. It was way too crowded for my tastes, but the stuff was nice. I bought some kitchen stuff. We also went to the movie Collateral which was very good. Even my dad liked it!
Today I got to have breakfast with Mitch. He was in town for a bachelor party. It was so nice to get to see him once more before we are both bogged down with our respective graduate programs. I wish him the best of luck with registration and moving this week.
I start medical school orientation tomorrow morning. It will be interesting to see who is there. It is hard to believe I am actually starting.....

Crowded and poorly organized is the verdict thus far for the SSR meeting. Today during the first poster session I was unable to make it to all of my desired stops because of crowding. To make matters worse, the posters are in a tent, so reading them is very hard (unless you have night vision goggles). However, I did see some quality research from several groups which surprised me. Fetal programming seems to the the hottest topic, as the room where the minisymposium were held was beyond capacity. I retreated to the Ovarian, Breast, and Prostrate Cancer symposia, which was very interesting. I am now going to have to read further on some of the research I was introduced to today.
Reception to my MD/PhD acceptance is lukewarm. It seems as if most PhD professors hesitate to embrace their MD/PhD colleges as "real" scientists. During the trainee/mentor lucheon I got called to duty to help with seating. As a result, I got a very crowded seat at my table.
Tonight we are going to explore Stanley Park and then head to the NAKED party for some beers. I need to get more rest tonight, as Tuesday and Wednesday are very full of sessions and meetings. Today is the President's Symposium, which I am not totally looking forward to, as the subject is sex determination.
I must be going, as seating for the Symposium will be tight and I don't want to be near the aisle.

I am at the Society for the Study of Reproduction meeting in Vancouver, B.C., Canada right now. The offical meeting starts at 1 today, so I have been bumming around Vancouver for the past day or so. We are staying in the Gage Towers on the campus of the University of British Columbia. They are definately not the Hilton that we stayed in last year. The emphasis of this meeting is on sex determination this years. Not my favorite subject, but there are a few lectures on fetal programming and on ovarian, testicular, and breast cancers which should be interesting. I am also looking forward to some of the posters from gropus doing similar research to mine. I don't present until Wednesday, which is sort of nice in one regard, but also sucks because that is the last day and my flight leaves three hours after presentations end (and customs take at least two hours....)
Last night we headed to to Chinatown. Tonight I don't know what we are going to do. The weather is nice here. The ocean views are beautiful. I can definately see why everyone sights Vancouver as one of their favorite cities.

Scientist who discovered DNA's structure dies

A great man has passed away. If he only knew what he has done for everyone. May he rest in peace and his vision and brillance be carried on by those of us entering the beginning of our careers

Francis Crick (1916-2004)
Co-discoverer: Sturcture of DNA double-helix
Noble Prize Winner 1962

My body, the test tube Symptoms and Causes of Low Blood Sugars and Insulin Reactions Well, tonight I was going about my business, when the following happened:
shaking, irritability, headace, hungar, blurred vision, numbness of the lips, fast heart rate, sudden tiredness, and poor concentration. Yup, LOW BLOOD SUGAR. As soon as the shaking started I ran for my old friend...oj. I hate this when it happens. I lost 60 freaken pounds to prevent this from happening,and yet it still does. I would like to blame something, but I think I can only blame myself. I guess it is time for me to realize that I am NOT in control of everything. I HAVE to eat, regularly. I am not like "normal" people...... stupid genes.

Well, I am starting to get used to "being by myself". It is weird how being totally isolated from all your friends and family can make you aware of who you are and what you want......

My project at work is going now. I finally stopped being "the girl who plays around with the new antibodies" to the "girl who works on morphine receptor knockout tumor samples". Both are basically the same thing, except I have to pay more attention to my pictures with the second title. I have to bake more cookies for the people at work, since Mark and Sil didn't get them yesterday. I don't think it will be a problem, since I am EXTREMELY bored (another sign I had low blood sugar, I called Hemant and told him I was "fucking bored". I hardly ever swear, and yet tonight it's like I have Tourettes syndrome!).

I was tempted to buy a mandolin today. There is something about having 3-4 hours of free time a night that compells me to play music. Unfortunately I don't have my bass, my favorite instrument, or my clarinet. I could play piano, but I am so out of practice.

Three days until Vancouver. I hope that I do well with my poster. It should be fun.

Today is Karen's 21st birthday.  I wish I could have been there for her.  When I called her she was at the liquor store buying who know what.   She was hesitant to take my suggestion of Bailey's or of Honeyweiss.   

Well, I am basically sitting here waiting for Hemant to call back or for Matt to call.   Maybe I could make it a contest between the two....... but what would the winner get?   Actually, my low blood sugar has made me very tired, so I think I will turn off my phone and go to bed.   I don't owe anyone apologies for taking care of myself.

I am listening to one of my roomates play piano right now.  He is trying to play a duet, but hasn't practiced with his partner before.   Today I stained wound sections with a new antibody.   I basically spent eight hours trying it out, only to find out that something went wrong.  At least I got a walking/frappacino break in, otherwise I might have gone insane and climbed the walls from boredom.   I hate the fact that I am not learning anything new in the this rotation.  I feel like I am wasting time.   
On another note, Matt couldn't come for the weekend.   I know I shouldn't be upset about this, but yet I am.   It is easy for me to blame his mom, and not look at the real reason why I am upset, I am lonely.  Sure, I have two roomates, but they have been here for four years already and have their own lives.   I feel like I am intruding most of the time I spend here.   
Ok, enough of the "feel sorry for me" crap.   I do have something fun coming up: Derek is coming for lunch tomorrow.   Since neither of us could come up with a place to meet, we are meeting on the corner of Washington and Oak.    I think if I was meeting anyone other that Derek I would feel a little like a hooker, but since he is going to seminary, I don't feel so bad.  
Well, I need to take out my contacts and try to relax.

I am spending a lazy morning/afternoon today. Last night was my first night "alone" in the apartment. Jon was on call and Kirk left for the weekend. I tried to get some 1st year MSTP people together, but nothing materialized. I think tonight I am going to go to a Twins game with some of the them however (some Anaheim.....I can't make it to your games...but beat Toronto anyway.) Last night I was alone, so I treated myself in a Sex in the City marathon, sadly finishing the first twelve episodes of season six in one night. I laughed a lot, and learned how to run my computer's DVD player (note to anyone reading this, a new and larger TV plus a DVD/VCR player and a new stereo with input acceptors are now on my birthday and Christmas wish lists....only five shopping months left...). The show was hilarious, and I laughed a lot. My only break was to bug Matt, since I know he is the only person it is safe to call past 11PM.
Oh, Dr. Hebbel, the man I am rotating with, received a Reagents award from the university (Star Tribune online, free registration may be required). He came into the lab all dressed up, which is very unusual for him (he sort of reminds me of Jimmy Buffet, Margaritaville must be playing daily when he picks his clothes) I like it in the lab so far, but I am definitely going to test out my other rotation before committing.
Well, I am going to hop on my now fixed bike and go work out. Then it is off running errands. I swear, I only move my car on weekends!

Moving and other activies have kept me from updating for a while. I am now settled into my new apartment. I really like the place. Right now I am typing from my bed, as I now have wireless internet capability. My Fourth of July weekend was lot of fun since Matt came to visit. I am definately getting more confident about having to drive around the Cities. I think tomorrow I am going to head up the Roseville to the mall. I can't really spend money, but it is nice to get around. Plus I need to get some new pillowcases to replace my now pink ones (they were originally lavendar). Tomorrow is also when I met the rest of the people who signed on for this year's MD/PhD class. I am looking forward to that.

I getting as bad as Mitch for blogging. I have been in Jamestown for a few days. I got to see my wonderful family. I also got my teeth and eyes checked. Nothing has changed, which is good. I am busy packing at home, and busy packing here at work too. Tomorrow is my last day. I just coming in the morning to get some stuff finalized. Well, we are going to lunch today, so I better go.

Last night I managed to finish one of the books for my reading list. I had an abundance of reading time because I had to take Karen to the walk-in clinic. She was apparently bit on Saturday night by a very nasty bug. She now has a "bite" that is greater than 7cm across. The physician put her on antibiotics, and she started taking Benadryl last night in hopes of reducing the swelling. Unfortunately, this morning it looked even worse than last night. I certainly hope it gets better.
The book I completed was Complications: A Surgeon's Notes on an Imperfect Science by Atul Gawande. I really enjoyed this book. I hope the rest on the list are as thought provoking and interesting.
Well, I have started a "quick" paper for Dr. Redmer. It is basically my old study, but I still have to write a paper because Mary Lynn doesn't believe the other study. Sometimes I just want to kick her. Oh well, the practice writing is good for me.
Tonight I have community band. Then I have to run down to Matt's house to get some stuff from his mom. Tomorrow I have a series of Dr. appointments and then head home to Jamestown for even more appointments. Next week is the big move. I realized last night how much packing and cleaning I have to do. What do you think I did once I realized that....? I sat on my butt and watched TV because I had a huge leg cramp. My cramp is subsiding, so I better get to work tonight.

I really wonder if anyone reads this, or if I just writing to myself. I am feeling awfully ignored right now by my boyfriend and my little sister. This is one of my last weeks in Fargo, and yet neither of them seem too anxious to spend time with me. I know that Matt is busy with Governor's School, but even on his "nights off" he is hesitant to skip dinner with the students and very quick to leave my apartment. I just get the feeling that he is avoiding me. He says he will miss me when I leave, but I am beginning to wonder..... Karen is another story. She is too preoccupied with spending time with her new friends. I try to be nice and plan stuff for the two of us, and she always finds a way to include them. I WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH HER....NOT HER FRIENDS! I just got my "suggested" reading list for the fall as well as my summer schedule. Once July 1st hits, I am NOT going to have much time to spend on the phone and writing e-mails or even spending time with someone who comes to visit for me. Even with a shortness is time, I am sure I will be 100% more efficient at using that time that my friends are. THAT is way I am really PISSED because I have time NOW...but no one wants to spend it with me. I guess I know who my friends are....no one. Good bye to Fargo...hopefully I will find friend who make time for me in Minneapolis.

Yesterday was so busy that I didn't have time to do anything! Well, what I mean is that I didn't have time to get some of my stuff done because I was kicking butt here at work. I managed to run my RT reactions, dilute them, and get one plate finished! I was very relieved, because now all I have to do today is run two more plates and interpret the data.
Last night I got a treat. I got to take Mike out for ice cream. He has surgery on Thursday, so I was lucky I caught him at home feeling well.
Tonight is Matt's night off. I think we are going to rent a movie and chill at my place. I think I am coming down with some type of sinus infection, so I have been dizzy and tired the past week. Staying home and cuddling on the couch is about all I have energy for.
Gotta run.

This weekend was a lot of fun. The weather during the day was gorgeous on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. This is a welcome change from the gloom that was formerly known as May. Mickey and Rena's wedding went off without a hitch. My best wishes and congratulations to the happy couple. On Saturday morning I got to watch my cousin compete in Special Olympics. He won the pentatholon, which was awesome. My good friend Tracey Odland also had a wonderful Olympics, winning several gold medals in swimming and a bronze for the 100m dash. I got a little sun even! On Saturday night I got my laundry done, but unfortunately the giant sunscreen stain didn't get out. For supper, since I was eating alone due to Karen working, I ate Saffron take-out and watched Lost in Translation. I have to wash it again today. Late Saturday night Aunt Sherry came to spend the night after enjoying Shania Twain. Matt also came over, and we watched Scary Movie 3. Both movies were good. I was in a comedy mood more, so I really enjoyed Scary Movie 3, which was over the top, but clever. On Sunday I delivered a speech at the opening of Governor's School 2004. It is hard to believe that it has been 6 years since I went! The rest of Sunday was spent shopping with Karen. We also went to Jersey Girl at the $1.50 theatre. I liked the movie. After I got home, I sat down and watched a funny movie on ABC Family. Yes, I know it is sad, but I was by myself and had nothing else to watch.
Today I work I have already been pretty productive. I ran three Agilent chips (without assistance). This afternoon I am going over staining.
Well, I better go.

Last night was an enjoyable evening. I got an excellent meal at the Outback to celebrate my last day of barn duty...hopefully forever. Then I went to my favorite store, Barnes and Noble. After that I headed to the Doublewood Inn to listen to Christopher's jazz group. They were excellent, as always. Kudos to Jesse for making playing tenor look very relaxing. Matt consumer about 2/3 of a pitcher of beer, so on our way home I treated him to an ice cream cone to help sober him up. We then sat back and watched a very enjoyable episode of Leno. I need to get out of this 6.5 hours a night sleep kick next week, I need more rest before moving.
Tonight is Mikey and Rena's wedding. Tomorrow is Special Olympics. I am looking forward to Blaine kicking some butt on the track. Well, I have to go. I am waiting for Mary Lynn to come in.

I am just waiting to get some guidance here at work today. I need approval to combine some samples, because it can't be "undone" once I do it. It is rather annoying waiting, since I have been here since 7:30am and it is now 9:19am. It must be nice to get make everyone else wait.

Congrats to my best friend Jenny. She accepted a position at Rugby Public Schools I now have a reason to visit the Geographical Center of North America again. I am really happy for her and wish her the best of luck. I think anyone who teaches grades 6-8 should be considered a saint.

Yesterday I had a hard day at work. I helped finish Pawel's age of first mating pregnancy study, which meant I help in tissue collection. We had to do five animals in one day, so it was very hectic. After that I went out and relaxed by finishing up my graduation thank you notes and playing trivia at Buffalo Wild Wings .

I need to say Happy Birthday to Brad Baltrusch and Christopher Hanson and a great big get well soon to Mike Lehmann

Wow! What a weekend! All I can say is scuba diving in a MN lake at the end of May is NOT a good idea. Especially since it hasn't been much above 70 yet. On Friday Matt and I drove up to Brainerd, MN. It is a pretty nice little town. After we checked into our hotel, we drove around a bit to explore and pick up some groceries for the weekend. On Saturday we headed out in drizzle to the diving site. It was about 14 miles out of Brainerd. We probably could have stayed in Crosby, which was closer, but I didn't know they had hotels there. Instead we stayed in comfort in Brainerd, and just suffered a 10-14 minute drive (it depended on who was driving and what the weather was like). Matt dove first. I took that opportunity to drive into town, get a big warm cup of coffee, and read. When lunch time roamed around, I went to Crosby, MN, and got Subway for Matt and me. I ate my sandwich at the primitive Portsmouth Bay campsite (http://webpages.charter.net/rsouthwick/scubaclub/sites.htm), and then sat in the backseat of my car to enjoy my latest reading, 100 years of Solitude (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0060929790/104-9971770-5183925?v=glance) by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. It is a really good book, but sometime the generations of people with the same name gets confusing.
My diving experience began shortly after 2 PM. I had to attempt to put on this thick, wet, and sort of gross wet suit. After being successful in my attempt, I felt like a giant stuffed sausage. That feeling never subsided during the whole weekend. I guess that should have been my first warning. We started our dive by a quick briefing. That is where I discovered that we would have to spend at least 15 minutes on the surface to change tanks. This did not excite me, as it was only 45 degrees outside and it was raining. Oour first dive was ok. The visability was supposedly abnormally low because of the rain and wind outside. I just remember the feeling of swimming in a tunnel and not knowing where to go. I also remember how cold it was. The first dive was successful, but because one of the divers was a little late, we had to extend out surface time. I froze my butt off. Luckily the second dive was shorter. After freezing...Matt was a saint and helped me clear my gear and warm me up. We enjoyed a pizza and some beer while I warmed up watching Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. I can happily say that I have also seen all three movies now. Why does there have to be so many snakes in them?
On Sunday I woke up...and did not want to dive....at all. I choked it up though, and doned my gear one more time. The conditions were even worse than Saturday. This lead to one guy panicking, but he was ok in the end. At one point I couldn't even see my own glove. The one cool part was when me and one of the instructors went to clearer water to catch me up. Because of the one guy's panick attack, I had not completed all of my skills. I was allow to do my skill by myself in a much nicer area. I even saw some fish.
After the dives, Matt and I ventered up the Dalsted cabin to pick up Jenny. She wasn't having the greatest time at the lake, so we were happy to free her from the rain. We ate at Zorbaz in Detriot Lakes. Unfortunately, the NASCAR club was also eating there, so all we could do was enjoy our excellent pizza in baffled silence due to the annoying amount of car sounds. To quote Jenny "I have never seen that much NASCAR in my life. I doubt I will ever again."
The rest of Sunday was spent watching classic movies. My personal favorite was Arsenic and Old Lace staring Cary Grant.
I have more... but this is enough for now.

Mitch's farewell dinner at Saffron was tasty and lots of fun. Tonight I say good bye once again to Mitch and Amy. We are going for drinks to the Ground Round. I am not much of a drinker, so I will probably enjoy a cocktail then kick back with my giant glass of water.
Things are going well here at work. I am probably being too efficient, as I am running out of things to do. I put some cells in their hypoxia chamber this morning, so I will be pretty busy next week with those. I pretty much have the next three weeks planned, practically down to the second. In some way it is nice, but in other ways I would just like some time to chill. I guess I will have time to do that in Minneapolis. I am busy shopping online for furniture and stuff. I think I am driving my mom nuts with questions. Oh well, it is usually the other way around. Karen and Matt are coming down with colds. I was really tired last night and this morning, so I hope I am not getting it as well. I guess that is what I get for living with Karen and seeing Matt almost everyday. I finally got out Scuba trip information. The sucky part is that I don't dive at the same times as Matt, so one of us will always be sitting around waiting. Oh well, I have a few good books to read.
Matt moves onto campus next week. I hope he will start working out with me then. I love working out, and I know that if he starts, he will continue to after I leave. With our family histories of heart disease neither of us can afford to be couch (or video game) potatoes.
I better get back to work. I think I will section some tissues to help out someone's study. Otherwise I just have filing to do....yuck!

Well, we bid a fond farewell to Mr. Derek Rieckens yesterday. He is moving back to Eau Claire for the summer, and then off to Columbus and the seminary. I wish him good luck!

The BBQ at Boeser and Mel's was a blast. I had lost of fun listening to Boeser and Mike make fun of Brad. The brats, chips, beer, and cookies were great as well. Great job burning the brats Boeser!

Tonight I am going to Saffron to wish Mitch a great summer in Baltimore and good luck starting his PhD program at Georgia Tech. Thursday I do the same with Mitch (yup, he is so special he gets two parties) and Amy, who is off to Cornell for her PhD program. I will apparently be the last one to leave Fargo....so I don't know who will have a party for me (probably Matt, celebrating his freedom).

I have to get back to work now. Until my meeting this afternoon there really isn't much to do around here. Hopefully that will change.

The Official Harry Potter Website

My favorite book (so far) of the Harry Potter series is finally brought to film (considering LOTR fans waited a lot longer I guess I shouldn't use longer here.....I guess I am just impatient). I am happy to see the new cast members, they are all quality actors and I feel they will capture the fun of the Potter movies. I also am looking forward to the new "darker" look provided by the new director. The next two books, Goblet of Fire and Order of the Phoenix, are both darker and darker, so this movie is critical in setting those books up. Ten days! I can't wait (well, I will probably wait a little longer because I want to go withadults........)

Anaheim Angels News

I am glad to hear that Darin is recovering faster than expected. I know that he is a dedicated person who hates being injured. I wish him and the Angels the best of luck this year!

GO ANAHEIM!

Yankees suck (sorry Matt!)

and the Twins do too (unless Anaheim isn't playing....then go Twins!)

This is me with the adorable Jennavive (Jena for short). She was cranky on graduation day, but was nice enough to let me hold her for a few minutes! 

Here is my roomate Tanya and I at my graduation party. 

Here is my father Earl and me at my graduation reception. I want to thank Ewa for the nice picture. My Aunt Donna is in the background. My Dad has a spot on his shirt from the champagne he was serving.  

I have some pictures from graduation that I am going to try and upload on
this blog.

I went to Shrek 2 last night http://www.shrek2.com/. It was so good. I actually thought it was better than the original movie. First of all, the animation was breath-taking. The best example is that Shrek now has skin texture, also check out Puss in Boots, he practically looks real in most frames. I also liked the story. I think I laughed throughout the whole thing, the jokes just kept coming. The nice thing was that none of the jokes were overplayed or too gross/sexual. Adults could laugh at the innuendos, and kids can laugh at the action. I would definately go to this movie a second time, and I am going to get the DVD when it comes out. This is a must see in my opinion.

In other things, I am going on an apartment hunt this weekend with my family. It is going to be interesting. I have three apointments set up so far, with more on the way. I hope to have a place lined up by Sunday so I have time to change my address, get a cell phone, and internet, BEFORE I move.

At work I am cruising through my "to do" list faster than I anticipated. It is making for some pretty boring days, but I know I need to tie up the loose ends before I leave. Better get back to it now.

I checked my grades today. I did it! I kept my 4.0 throughout college! Honestly, I didn't think it was going to happen this semester because Recombinant and Animal Physiology were difficult. I think I missed too much class going on interviews. Oh well, apparently my visions of failure drove me to do well. It looks like rain and possibly some storms tonight. I hope it just rains, because I hate storms. Work is going great right now as I wrap up the last four years of work. It is sort of scary that I will have to get to know a whole new lab crew very soon. Well, I need to write in my lab journal and read some more journals. Tonight is laundry and thank you note wrap up. If I get really motivated I will start baking cookies for all the people I promised them too. Oh, and I have to pick a lab to rotate in tonight. My apartment search weekend is rapidly approaching, so I should probably work on that as well......
MOVING: it really sort of sucks!

Here is a quote from our server at the Bison Turf last night:
"Are you guys done? Wow! That was easy- AND cheap.....a lot like my ex-girlfriend!"

I don't know who this guy's ex was, but I got a laugh at her expense. I think we know why she dumped him....

Here is the text for my Commencement address that I delievered on May 15th, 2004 at the 110th Annual Spring Commencement at North Dakota State University. It was an awesome experience that I am very grateful for. Thank you to everyone who helped me get there.

Traditions- A Student Perspective.
Today I would like to talk about a word that means a lot to me: tradition. While considering what to write for a commencement address, I thought back to all the commencement ceremonies I have attended while playing clarinet in the band or when watching my cousins and friends graduate over the years. One unifying, central theme that all these ceremonies had was tradition. From the customary robes adorning the graduates and professors, to the ceremony of handing out diplomas, tradition is ever present. As Pulitzer Prize winner Ellen Goodman once stated “Traditions are the guideposts driven deep in our subconscious minds. The most powerful ones are those we can't even describe and aren't even aware of.” The past four years of my life have been marked by the unique, often unnoticed, customs that denote the passing of time at NDSU. Today I am going to explore these unique traditions that encompass life at NDSU.
First of all, traditions are what bring us together. Think back to your first year, what do you remember the most? I doubt it is how hard biology 150 was, or the professor’s jokes in Chemistry 121, it is more likely the fun and excitement that occurred during Orientation, welcome week dances, and residence hall activities- all of the traditional activities that mark the passing of the school year. In fact, as students we can mark our calendars by routines surrounding fall and spring semester. No matter what, every year begins the same way, and ends with commencement, as it is today.
Traditions not only bring us together as students, they connect us to the past. This year has been one full of traditions for me because of participation in band. The Gold Star Band at NDSU marked its 100th year as an organization on campus. Along with this celebration came an alumni event. At this event I was able to speak with Bison alumni from as far back as the 30s. What did all of these individuals remember the most about their time at NDSU? It wasn’t the calculus they learned, it was the rituals that they help start or uphold. I heard stories of why certain cheers were started, and why activities that I had been doing since first year are significant.
Even though traditions connect us to each other and to the past, they have to evolve. Whether it is on the playing field, in the classroom, or on campus, the customs upheld today are often different from the ones that my father participated in 30 odd years ago. And yet, it is the continuity of the activities that hold us together as students, and make us part of the larger Bison family.
Even though they evolve, traditions continue to tie us to the past. However, sometimes the emergence of a new tradition is necessary. For example, this year marked the ending of NDSU’s participation Division II athletics and with it the longstanding rivalry with the University Of North Dakota. The loss of this rivalry and the traditions surrounding it is very sad because most of us have some fond memory about this rivalry. My memories include four years of exciting Bison/Sioux weekends as a member of the Gold Star Band. Now, with the DI transition, the rivalry with UND has ended and a new one with South Dakota State University has begun. Though exciting, this new rivalry will never replace the old one in the hearts of the Bison family. However, for all of us NDSU’s transition to the next level is a blessing because many new traditions, such as the Dakota Marker, will emerge as the old ones are modified to meet the needs of everyone involved.
In our own lives, we are experiences a transition not unlike that of NDSU. Like NDSU, we are heading into unknown, but not uncharted territory. As many before us, we will end our tenure as NDSU students during commencement this morning. From there, we will go our separate ways to the future, the next level. For some, like me, it is just the beginning of a journey towards more education, but for others it is the first step towards a career and a new adult life.
The footprints towards the next level have been laid down by our predecessors. They are now ours to follow and make our own.
The conclusion that can be drawn from my observations is that traditions are the understated glue which holds together the core of our culture. No matter what kind of achievements our futures hold, everyday customs and rituals will continue to play a large role in our lives. Long after we receive our diplomas we will be members of the Bison tradition because our futures are forever tied to this school, as our successes reflect upon our professors and our peers. Therefore, no matter where we go, there is one tangible fact that can unify all of us: we are Bison. I am proud to be a Bison, and hope to someday come back and see what traditions are being upheld by the students of tomorrow.

The War in Iraq just hit a little closer to home today. Phil Brown, a classmate of my sister's, was killed by a roadside bombing. I didn't know him that well...but somehow it is sad thinking that his life ended protecting people who are not appreciative of his sacrifice. My thoughts, prays, and condolences are with him family. Their son died a hero.

Well it is hard to imagine that this is my last week of classes and that I still don't know where I am going to school! The mental battle between the University of Minnesota and University of Connecticut is getting pretty intense in my head right now. The "good" news is that I have three finals this week, so I guess I will be too busy studying to worry. The Friends finale is also this week. It is going to be weird on Thursday night next year, since Friends and Scrubs are the only two TV shows I watch. Oh well, I probably won't have time in med school anyway. Good luck on finals to everyone. I will post my final decision when I have made it.

What a weird Sunday. I am just starting my homework after eating supper with my best friend. She is graduating next Sunday.....wow! I have had an odd day because of all the stuff I have accomplished. Usually I am lucky to get just one thing done, but today I have been cruising through the homework. I even had time to work on my stories and write two new poems!
I hope this trend continues. I have a tough ten days of class a head of me.

Here is a poem I doodled in class a few weeks ago. I am in my notebook right now, so I might as well get it typed.

Hands of a Craftsman

Cracked broken weary flesh
Old before its time
Rough, scaly, weathered skin
Wrinkled beyond its years
Used and abused
Neglected and sad
The only testament to your worth
is the strength and dexierity that lies beneath
Never mistaken for a man of leisure
My hands give me away.
Within their strength lies my secret
The ability to create.
They provide me with my craft
Molding beautiful works of art
Out of nature's raw goods


Joan Beckman, 2004

Here are the some of the microfiction projects I did in class. I am also posting them to the team blog....

Sleep
"Sleep depravation is a bitch." The teacher stated at the start of the class while organizing her course materials for the day.
"No kidding!" Susie though to herself as she gently eased her load to the floor. "I wish I hadn't been out so late last night....two hours of sleep is not enough..." she thought to herself. Awake but not consciuos, Susie assumed her "attentive" position and escaped to the dream world in her mind.

Lovers quarrel?
"Is their love without passion?" My roomate asked on cold night.
"Well, I know there is passion without love, so I guess the inverse could exit." I replied hesitantly, unaware of why he asked such as question.
"But can true happiness exits without the spark of passion between you and your soulmate?" He replied back.
Amazed by this comment, I was speechless because I knew he was talking about us.

One concussion
One hospital visit
One cat eating at the table
What do all these things add up to?
Easter at my house!

My ever stressfull week begins yet again. I finally got my dollar bill assignments done. Now I just have to start on my fiction draft. I have three more lab reports, a scholarship application, and two speeches left to write as well. I think I am going to have to start sleeping with my laptop....hmmmm that is a good story idea.....

The chiropractor is a miracle worker......
I know I am supposed to post a version of my dollar bill experience, but this story is very similar. Here is a fictional account of my car accident. I will post my dollar stories later. I wanted to capture my thoughts on this subject ASAP.
Crash
Joan Beckman
April 5, 2004
“Welcome to Bradley International Airport. As the plane taxis to the terminal please remain in your seats with the seat belt on. You may use cellular telephones at this time. Upon the arrival at the terminal the pilot will turn off the seat buckle light and you will be free to leave the airplane. Please be careful opening the overhead bins, as objects may have shifted during the flight. On behalf of the crew and Northwest airlines we thank you for your business and wish you a great evening.”
With that announcement by our exhausted flight attendant, we had finally arrived, at the early hour of 10:45PM, in Hartford, Connecticut. Anxious to get to our hotel after a long day of traveling, my mom and I stood up as soon as the light was turned off. Like veteran travelers, we maneuvered our way into the aisle, opened up the overhead bins, and extracted our carry-on bags in a matter of minutes. We practically ran up the jetway, dodging other weary travelers, because our excitement had just begun. Ahead of us was our first driving experience in the Hartford area.
Impatiently, we waited for our Alamo shuttle bus to arrive. It was interesting for us to stand back and evaluate what other travelers were doing. Some were patiently waiting, others were talking on cell phones, and quit a few others were tugging at sleepy children, coaxing them to follow them into the adjacent parking garage. “Mom, look over there!” I would exclaim as a child raced away from their parents.
“Isn’t he a cutie!” my mother would exclaim while rolling her eyes and grinning. A few more minutes and a few more sarcastic comments later, I finally noticed our shuttle a few yards ahead of us.
“Look, here comes our shuttle,” I stated as we watched the green and blue people mover make its way slowly toward us. After what seem liked an eternity, the shuttle pulled up and the doors opened.
“Going to Alamo or National?” The shuttle driver inquired as he grabbed our bags. I wondered to myself that if we had said Hertz if he would have just shut the doors and took off with our luggage. We replied didn’t reply that way, instead we confirmed Alamo, and boarded the large bus.
Five minutes later we arrived at the rental car office. We were dumbfounded to discover that Alamo and National were in the same office, which made both mom and I wonder why it mattered to the driver so much. We filed into the office, pulled out our Expedia.com reservation sheet, and waited for the clerk to finish with the aging couple ahead of us.
“Good evening, what is your name and reservation number?” The clerk responded as mom meandered her way up the counter.
“Maggie Smith, reservation number 278991.” My mother responded. I sat back and listened passively as the clerk, whose name tag read Mohammed, entered into the much rehearsed script that he must say at least thirty times a night.
“What are your permanent address, local telephone number, and credit card number?” My mother, used to these questions from previous encounters rattled off the information without hesitation. Next the clerk entered into his sales pitches, “Would you like to upgrade to an SUV or premium automobile for an additional $60? Or how about our deluxe insurance plan with FREE full-size vehicle upgrade?” Shocked, the clerk almost did a double take when my mom requested the deluxe insurance with the vehicle upgrade. I am sure that I saw him smirk, thinking of the praise he would get for making the increased sale. As if he was afraid that she would change her mind, the clerk quickly placed the contract in front of my mom, blasted through the verbal statements, and asked her to sign. My mother, weary from six hours in the plane, signed the form and asked for a receipt. “Thank you very much. Here is your receipt and rental agreement. You can just go outside and chose a car. The keys are in the ignition.”
Slowly we made our way outside, cautiously approaching the full-size vehicles. I was expecting rows upon rows of awesome vehicles, but instead we were greeted by three Chevy Impalas. “Wow, what a variety we have here!” I proclaimed as we circled our choices. The car lot was not well light, so we hopped into the closest car, a silver metallic colored vehicle. A few seconds later, after mom adjusted the seats to fit her petite stature, we were off.
After our first left turn, I knew we were in trouble. “Did the clerk say, one left and two rights, or one right and two lefts?” I asked my mother as we cruised down the avenue.
“I can’t remember,” my mom replied back hastily. “You’re the navigator, I thought you would remember!”
Coming up to an intersection, we had to make a decision, FAST. I decided that the clerk had said left, so I told my mother to turn left. I held my breath as we speed around the corner and headed toward the black highway.
“Do you notice that it is getting awfully dark here?” My mom inquired as we passed a sign reading “Springfield----15 miles”
“SPRINGFIELD!” I proclaimed as I read the sign, “we are heading in the wrong direction!”
“Crap!” my mother replied as she slowed down. Quickly and adeptly, she maneuvered the car into a deserted parking lot, turned it around, and head back the way we came. She was silent, but yet the tension from her anger was thick in the air.
“Sara, look carefully ahead. Find out where we are supposed to go, and do it right this time!” She snapped between her teeth while looking intensely at the road ahead.
Feeling guilty, I focused on my task. Suddenly, redemption arrived in the form of a sign reading “I-91----1/2mile”. Excited, I proclaimed our luck to my mom. “Look, we just took a single wrong turn! We are on the right road now. All we have to do it follow that sign!” As I said “follow that sign” I held my left arm up to point toward the sign. As my arm rose, I noticed a car coming toward us from the left. We were heading toward an intersection, but we were not slowing down because we had the green light. My mom, happy to be on the right road, was hitting the accelerator with confidence. I kept watching the car to our left as it made its way to the same intersection as ours. Suddenly it clicked in my mind that there was a problem…..the car wasn’t slowing down for its red light…..it WAS SPEEDING UP!
“NOOOOO!” was the only words I could shout as I watched the car, seemingly in slow motion, enter the intersection, heading straight for the side of our car. Suddenly, I heard the sickening thud of metal hitting metal, tires squalling, and glass breaking. The sounds were so loud, all other life seemed to stop for a moment. Then, just as suddenly as it happened, the sound ended and our car was no longer moving.
“MOM!” I worriedly proclaimed, praying that she was ok.
“I’m ok,” she replied. “Did I have the green light?”
“Yeah, he ran it.” I replied back slowly because I was finally noticing the piercing pain in my abdomen from the forced applied from the life-saving safety belts.
“Is everyone ok?” The question came suddenly through the shattered window next to my mom.
“I think so,” was the only reply I could come up with as I stared at disbelief at the young man looking through the broken glass. He was tall, and was not older than me.
“You ran the light!” My mother snapped to him, totally ignoring his question if she was ok.
“I know. Have you called 911 yet?” was his reply.
“No, we are not from here so it would be long-distance call. We are from North Dakota. Do you have a cell phone?” I replied.
“Let me check,” the man replied as he stumbled toward his vehicle, which had somehow ended up behind us.
“Sorry, I guess I left it at home,” he replied as he neared our car after several minutes.
In a haze of pain, I reluctantly frisked through my purse to find my cell phone. I dialed 911 and waited.
“Hello 911, what is your emergency?” the female dispatcher answered.
“Hi…..we have been in an accident……we are at the intersection of two road by the airport.” I stuttered, totally ignorance of what roads were currently blocking.
“Miss, are you near the Bradley Bowl?” the dispatcher asked
“I don’t know, let me see,” I replied as I tried to turn my neck to see what was around.
“Yeah, we are by the Bradley Bowl,” the man replied, as if he knew what the dispatcher had asked.
“I guess we are, I can’t really see it.” I replied hesitantly to the dispatcher.
“We are aware of that accident; the police are on the way. Just stay put.” With that pronouncement, the dispatcher hung up and the line went dead. Sure enough, a minute later the reassuring red and blue lights of the highway patrol illuminated our wreaked car.
“Hello, my name is Officer Lang. What happened here?” A tall, husky man questioned as he bent over, looking intently at my mom and I.
“He ran a red light!” my mom replied quickly.
“Is everyone here alright, do you need an ambulance?” Office Lang replied.
“I don’t think so……we aren’t bleeding and the pain is going away.” I replied back. My mother, her insurance agent training in hand, simply nodded approval to my response while mentally calculating the cost of damage.
“Ladies, did either of you smell alcohol on his breath?” Officer Lang questioned.
“I didn’t, but he never got too close to me since I didn’t move out of my seat. He was very polite though, considering the circumstance. He even admitted that he ran the light.” I replied quickly. My mom, still silent, nodded once again.
“Well ladies, I will need to see your licenses and your rental car agreement.” So we carefully handed our information to the officer and he disappeared into the mob of police cars that circled ours.
I don’t vividly remember what happened next. I just remember how cold it was getting in the car and how both my mom and I sat in silence, almost too afraid to acknowledge the commotion going on around us.
“Ok ladies, we need to move you car here.” Officer Lang stated as he broke the daze.
“I am so sorry.” My mom replied.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. This was not your fault.” Office Lang replied as we slowly, like two crawling babies, made our way out of the wreck. Relieved to hear that she wasn’t going to be blamed, my mom finally started to relax and talk to the officers. In a zombie like coma, I was escorted by a short stocky officer to a police car.
“You guys can get warm in here while we tow your car. Do you have anyone who can come and pick you up?” The kind officer asked as we slide into the extremely small backseat.
“No, we are from out of town. I guess you will have to take us back to the rental car office.” My mom replied.
Content with the answer, the officer left us in his warm car. Together we sat in the back. My mom suddenly broke the silence, “how is your stomach, do you need to see someone?”
“No, the pain is going away. How are you now?” I replied
“Grateful. That upgrade saved our lives. If we had been in a smaller car we would have been dead.”
“Well, if I had leaded us in the right direction to being with, we wouldn’t have even been at the intersection at that time!” I replied, holding back my tears of relief and disbelief.
“Nonsense!” my mom replied. “If it hadn’t been us it would have been someone else. Stuff life this just happens.”
Suddenly, my mom stopped looking at me and quickly turned her vision to her right. “Well I will be dammed!” she exclaimed. “They are doing a breathalyzer on him.” Not able to see who she was talking about, I peered between the seat tops, hoping to. A minute later my mom snorted and said “well, it figures, they just put cuffs around him. I bet he was drunk.”
Dumbfounded, I said nothing. After several minutes of absent-mindly listening to Pink Floyd blaring over the police car radio, my mom asked a question, “How much would a cab cost right now?”
“I don’t know, but our hotel is about thirty miles from here. My guess is very expensive.” I replied.
“I don’t want to drive anymore. Maybe we should just call a cab.” My mom said.
Before I could reply, Officer Lang made his way back to the police cruiser. “Ladies you are very lucky. He was drunk, and had his car not stopped working, he would have ran. Here is your identification back. I have written down my badge number, the case number, and the time of the accident, 23:32, down on your contract. We will take you back to the rental car office right now.” Officer Lang handed us the document and walked away. Next, the kind officer came and asked us which office. We told him Alamo, he shut the door, and hopped in front of the wheel.
“Sir,” my mom yelled through the plexiglass shield, “how much would a cab to Plainsville cost us?”
“I would say around $100 at this time of night.” The officer replied.
Silently we made the rest of the trip to the rental office. Upon our arrival, the office unloaded our bags, undamaged by the crash, and drove away, leaving us to face the rental clerk by ourselves.
Slowly we entered the doors of the office. Having been dropped off by a police cruiser, we were already the center of attention. Mohammed, standing behing the desk, had a shocked look on his face upon seeing mom and I. “What happened?” he asked as we made our way throught the people gates to his desk.
“We were hit.” My mom replied without hesitation.
“Really? I can’t believe it.” Mohammed replied. He didn’t have to doubt us for long though, because as he uttered his statement, our wreaked car was entering the rental lot on the rear of a flat bed truck. “Oh my…..” was all he said after that.
Twenty minutes, fourteen apoligies, and five signatures later, mom and I found ourselves standing in the rental lot once again.
“Well, which Impala do you want now?” my mom asked with a sense of humor in her voice.
“I don’t know. You picked the last one we wrecked, so why don’t you pick this one too?” I smartly answered back, holding back a giggle.
“Well, this one looks due.” She replied as she opened the door of a brown one. Quickly we entered the car, adjusted the seats, fastened our seat belts, and started the engine.
“Here’s to luck!” my mom proclaimed as she placed the car in gear and headed out of the lot. “Hartford here we come!”
With that we turned down the road, past the broken glass remnants of our previous car, and headed safely into the night towards our hotel.

I feel like complete shit right now. The sign in the airport on Thursday night said "Welcome to New England". I was welcomed by a drunk driver cruising through a stop light at 40 mph right into our rental car. I guess I can be grateful for nothing more than a lot of bruises and killer headaches, but part of me just wants to go back to Connecticut and kill the bastard. I landed last night from my three day odssey in Hartford, and am really feeling the pain from the accident today. I have two projects to do BEFORE tomorrow morning, but I can't focus because I hurt all over. I think I am going to be pulling an all-nighter tonight, not that I sleep great anyway..... I will get to my dollar bill project and maybe event write a short story about our accident experience.

Here is my poem written in the manner of James Wright. I found this assignment to be very difficult, so I wrote a "copycat" type of poem, with the same structure, but different subject.

The Treasure
Where is this crevice
Beneath the flower’s petal
That nobodyt is able to see
A closet, of peace
Protecting the tender fruit from fire
When it opens in the tenuous wind
Its delicacy turns to dust.

Joan D. Beckman, 2004

Written in the manner of “The Jewel” by James Wright

I received six rejection letters over spring break. Not very enjoyable. I am posting a link to the band tour website, so everyone can see what I was up to on some of my break, http://www.ndsu.nodak.edu/ndsu/goldstarband/concert/tour/2004/index.php. Note the bus photos, YUP I WAS IN MY FIRST BUS CRASH! I have crossed the US twice in buses, but I have never been in an accident. It was scary, but I thank god everyone is ok.
I have a busy week. I am going to be getting ready to go to Stanford and Connecticut, as well as write/refine my commencement address and write my speech for the scholar dinner. In addition I have to plan Phi Sigma career night, plan induction, and do several other things. I just got nominated for the Jack Kent Cooke Scholarship, so I have to get that paper work done as well......AHHHHHH!
I will get to that poem as soon as possible, but first I have to catch up in all my other stuff!
That's all for now.

Well, band tour is rapidly approaching. We leave on Thursday for my final tour. It really is the end of something special to me. For the past four years I have been able to spend Spring Break with my best friends (and some of my worst enemies). Band tour is where I really had a chance to get to know Matt, my boyfriend, as he used me as an escape from one of the most annoying people alive during our first tour. Now, we head to the Cities for the weekend. I wish it was someplace else, like Denver or Chicago, but at least it isn't Glendive, MT like last year! Here is the band website. http://www.ndsu.nodak.edu/ndsu/goldstarband

I am at work right now. I am histochemically staining my sheep blood vessels cells. Basically this involved waiting for a timer to beep before I add another chemical to the slide. It is tedious, but looks awesome when the process is finished.

Another thought, I think a rant on my friend Mike's site will be in the works over break. There are a lot of things that run through my head, but I don't have time to write about all of them. My sister did give me an awesome story idea the other day. It is a suspense story based on her recurring nightmare. It is pretty intense, since she wanted to spend the night on my floor last night.....

I am now officially the commencement speaker at the 2004 NDSU Spring Commencement. I also am speaking at the College of Science and Mathematics Scholar's Day banquet. It is pretty weird that I have been picked for these items. I never imagined that I would even have a shot at commencement, as I am NOT in student government. Apparently I did something right......

Oh, here goes the timer again!

Well, I have done little to no creative writing this past week because of my classes. I have officially become immersed in lab report writing.....yuck! I did have a few creative endeavors this past weekend since I was in pep band on Friday night and Saturday night. I also had a band concert on Saturday that was ok. It was the first time we did a February concert, so all fo the pieces were a little shaky. Our band tour is just a little over a week away, so we will have to get rid of all the gross stuff soon. I had some good news on Thursday.....I got an MSTP position at the University of Connecticut in Farmington, CT (just outside of Hartford). This means that I will not have to pay for school!!!!! However, pretty much everyone is happy yet sad because it means that I will have to move far from home. I think my Dad and sister are holding nightly prayer vigils hoping that I will get a position at the University of Minnesota. I still have an interview at Stanford as well, so my future is still up in the air......
Well, I will post my revised poetry projects when I finish them.

Fiddler on the Roof rehearsals are consuming my life right now. On top of that I have tons of work to get finished for my research and my classes. Looks like a week of little sleep. Here is my luminous object poem.

The Lamp

Flick of a switch and current flows
Illumination starts within your tungsten core
Darkness flees your warmth and brightness
Tall and far-reaching
No corners are left for the gray world of night

Welcoming beams of electricity
Allowing all to see the world
Power, harnessed to our will
Power, contained within a bulb

A flame may be more romantic
But it is victim to the whims of nature’s breath
You bow to no one but time
Nature’s sweet breath has not effect on your glory

A shade attempts to damper
The joyous beams emitted effortlessly to brighten the world
Direction is granted, but is not mindlessly followed
As the luminous products of power fluently passes through its cover
To illuminate the room with warmth

Darkness is your foe
Written words
Colorful pictures
The caring face of a friend
Meaningless without your source
To shine upon and reveal their depth

Upon my command your brilliance is ended
And darkness is once again allowed to reign
I know not to fear
Because your power is at my command
Waiting to flood the darkness
With light
Joan Beckman, 2004

Here is the opening of a short story I started at the beginning of the semester. If any of you Creative Writing People happen to read it and have any tips/suggestions/comments PLEASE e-mail me (I think Cindy has a e-mail list, if not I have sent stuff in for workship so you can find my address there!) I suck at writing short stories, so I need HELP!

The dark hallways terrified most people, but for some reason Sara enjoyed the solitude represented by the absence of the yellow fluorescent beams that bounce off the bright white linomun tile. Only the faint red glow streaming from the exit signs was present to illuminate Sara’s path to the laboratory door. The red cast to institutional brick made the whole building sinister and foreboding. Many people, disturbed by the glow, just turned on the hallway lights before walking down the corridor, but Sara had long ago ceased to flip on the switch and the inviting lights. To her, the absence of light from the long corridor was comforting because it epitomized peace and solitude. In a few short hours the lights would turn on and the calmness of the morning would be lost to the chaos of the lab. At this time or morning, the all that was present to keep her company was her thoughts and her work.
After unlocking the door, Sara quickly glanced at it to see if a new tidbit of information was present. Instead she was greeted by the same comforting Far Side cartoons, modified to be an inside joke between the members of the group. “I am going to miss those cartoons,” she thought to herself as she breezed by to get started on her tasks for the morning.
Task one: turn on all equipment. Wandering around the waylaid desk chairs and carts, Sara made her way to her “home” for the last seven years, her lab bench. Without even thinking Sara made her way to the biological safety hood and flipped the four switches. Instantly the stillness in the room was destroyed as the hood began to fulfill its purpose, sterilizing the air within its stainless steel confines. The noise was deafening, but after a while a person got used to it. The world within the hood became all that matters, as the loud hum of the HEPA filters drowned out the outside world. The noise once made Sara miss a fire alarm, which was not very entertain for the firefighters sweeping the building. Sara often worried that the hood would damage her hearing, but was too afraid to express these worries out loud. The laboratory environment is one boarding on paranoid. As soon as a health or safety concern is expressed, seemingly thousands of mundane and inefficient rules and paperwork bombard the room. Everyone had to deal with hood noise, so Sara kept her concerns to herself and made a point of having the hood on only when necessary. Today, Sara needed the hood to complete her final laboratory task. After today she would be confined to her cubicle, chained to a laptop writing her thesis. Hesitant to start her task, Sara sat and watched the thermometer climb as the water bath heated the water to a perfect 37˚C: body temperature.
When Sara entered graduate school she never imagined how attached to one place she could become. During her tenure in the lab she had spent more time at this bench than she had in her small apartment four blocks away. Late nights became early mornings, and early morning turned into long days, and yet Sara never regretted a single minute. She had lost two boyfriends, both because she saw her mice more than them. Now, four months shy of completing her thesis and achieving her goal of a doctorate, Sara was finding her motivation quickly waning. Questions, such as “Why can’t I just move on?” “Why do I want to stay so badly?” “Where am I going to end up?” constantly ran through her head, keeping her awake at night. Two months ago the sleepless nights were very productive for Sara. She was able to, in a matter of a few weeks, complete her oral and written exams. Now, with the adrenaline rush ending, Sara was faced with the most tedious and arduous task, fitting the last six years of her life neatly into a thesis. But first, the task at hand! Her concentration snapped from her internal musing by the click of the cell culture incubator, Sara jumps quickly organizes her materials to get started on her project for the day: destroying her cultures.

I took a pretty hard fall walking to work today. I was knocked out in the middle of the road for a while. My question from this experience is, how can a person drive by when there is another person lying in the road, obviously injured? I guess the good Samaritan Bible verse is still relavent today. I managed to get up and walk away fairly unscathed from my fall, but was amazed when two different cars (that I noticed, there may have been more) drove by me WITHOUT STOPPING OR EVEN SLOWING DOWN! I am scared to think of what could have happened if I had been seriously injured.

This quote was in my Sociology textbook.
Hell is where the Italians are the bureaucrats, the French are the engineers, the British are the cooks, the Germans are the police, the Russians are the historians, and the Americans are the lovers.

Lindsey, L.L. and Beach, S. 2003. Essential of Sociology. Prentice Hall, Upper Saddle River, NJ

chilling fruit of nature's tears
cruching quickly
dissolving to water
shock to the tongue as its cells start to freeze
delight to the throat as soothing cool water flows down its way
no form to this treat
and you must consume with speed
for spring will take it away

Well, I made all my flights and I am now back home. It is amazing how rude people in airports are. I read The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown on the planes. It was a good book. I can understand why Catholics are offended by parts of it, but it is a work of fiction. It provokes thought, and in my opinion that is entertaining. On my travels I found a few interesting quotes. I will post them soon. My feeling on snow will get done ASAP....I apoligize for not doing it earlier. Oh, why do people thing Fargo is a barren wasteland? I had that dam movie mentioned at least six times to me. GRRRR! I have to get to my lab now.

OUCH! My back is killing me right now. That is probably because I had to do heat checks and give shots to my sheep today. I was supposed to go by myself, but I dragged my sister along to help. I AM SO GRATEFUL that she came. If it wasn't for her my body would probably be decomposing among the sheep droppings right now, because I would have been stomped on for sure. I appreciate that my supervisors think I can wrestle a 300+ lb. Animal by myself AND give it a shot in the ass WITHOUT hurting either the animal or me, but I KNOW MY LIMITS!

Other than that, not much up today. I am writing my first lab report for my recombinant DNA class. I don't have all the calculations finished, so it is tough. I am not going to miss lab reports after I graduate, but I guess they will just be replaced by Experimental protocols, papers, and grant proposals.

I made a snow angel today. It is already being filled up with snow. I like snow, but this much in one shot is sort of depressing. Here's to trying to walk to class tomorrow!

Here is a poem I am working on.

A Life of Doubt
Doubt creeps in
Its insidious actions create a world
In which,
A perfect score seems flawed
A new love is imperfect
And beauty is lost

Confidence may be present
But Doubt rules
Denying the feeling
Of SUCCESS

Doubt’s Constant questions
What if I had……
If only I could have…..
I should have……

Doubt’s offspring multiply
A promise unfulfilled
A goal forgotten
A question unanswered
A life unlived

I have to unload a little about the NDSU student section. I am a member of the NDSU pep band. We have many traditions, and enjoy cheering on our teams, win or lose. This year is extremely fun because both the men's and women's teams are playing well and the games are exciting.

With all of this excitement, the NDSU student section is finally starting to fill up. I remember my first year in pep band when it was a rare night that even half the student section would be full. Now, we have fans, but the Bison Sports Area is still dead. WHY? BECAUSE THE BISON FANS ARE MUTE! Well, at least that is my deduction. They don't cheer, they don't stand, and heaven forbid, clap for the schools songs. In high school I was taught that when your schools song plays you STAND UP and CLAP. During the NDSU women's game on Saturday night we played the school Fight song and On Bison five times, and only the older Bison fans stood up. Even members the Bison Bridgade (the student government funded pep club) just sat in their seats mute. The band even taunted its own student section, cheering "stand up students", yet nothing. The athletes work hard to prepare and play in their sport. The least these fans could do is show some respect and cheer them on. As for the school songs issue, get some Bison pride and stand up!